As we wrap up 2017 and look to 2018, I feel it’s a great time to talk about permission.
So many people I know, including myself, wait to do something important because we’re looking for validation and permission from SOMEONE to do it.
Most of us can’t help it.
From the time we’re tiny, we ask for permission to do just about everything. In school, especially American schools, we’re taught that failure is NOT an option. We’re taught that there’s nothing to gain from failure except the feeling that you failed.
You better get it right the first time.
We’re about results instead of being about the PROCESS.
And we wonder why so many people are afraid to after what they really want? To go after something that seems off their “life track”?
Genius is rewarded by moving to the front of the line, opening all the doors of opportunity, but those who may struggle and persevere with a C average are labeled as being lazy or kinda dumb. That stinks because someone who really struggles to get a concept but works their butt off to pass has an invaluable skill- GRIT.
Teachers, Mentors, Coaches, Parents, Friends…they all have a say in what we do and how we do it.
They greatly influence our mindset.
If we try to break the mold, it’s usually met with all kinds of negativity. If we’re that C average student with big dreams, we’re usually coached into something more “our pace”.
The geniuses who seem to have things come easily to them are celebrated in many ways- which is great- but everyone else wonders if they’re good enough to go after what they really want. Tons of talented people seem to be running around with Ricky Bobby syndrome- If you ain’t first you’re LAST!
What a bunch of crap.
Let me tell you a story.
One of my clients has a big dream and it has a name: Be the Premier Newborn Photographer in Wyoming. Her name is Emily, owner of Emily Robin Photography and she’s amazing. Her heart has always been for family, kids and especially babies. Her whole being comes alive when holding an infant!
She started to learn photography on her own and slowly, over the years, grew her skillset and a unique style. A small voice inside told her to GO FOR IT! Be the photographer new mamas seek out FIRST.
But, she wouldn’t fully own it.
She thought, “Other photographers have been doing this longer than I have.” or “Other photographers have better studios and equipment, so the’re the real professionals here.” or “I’m just a stay at home mom that works out of her house…”
Her work is incredible and has a magic to it…a softness and wonder…she was literally accomplishing her dream by doing these incredible sessions, yet, she rarely talked about what she did with people who didn’t know her well.
Self promotion didn’t exist. At all. She was waiting for validation and permission from some unknown source that she deemed to be better than her in the world of photography.
She didn’t even know who would give her this validation. It was just in her head…but was impacting how she approached her business. We had an in-depth conversation about her obstacles and concerns.
Once she realized that she didn’t need anyone’s permission or validation to step into her reality, she began to own it.
She is, in fact, the Premier Newborn Photographer in Wyoming. Her work is even showcased on the birthing floor of Sheridan Memorial Hospital!
Welcome to the club
So, are you waiting for permission to go after something? Are you afraid of rejection and failure? Welcome to the club. You’re in great company.
In 2018, I’m going to talk a lot about taking control of your mind and your reality.
It totally ties in with marketing because you can’t market yourself or your business when your mindset is filled with negativity and doubt.